9.03.2004

Up means up. Down means down.

Hey ho bloggerinos! Long time no blog atcha. Because of my poor salary I've had to take a second job at Fenway Park during Red Sox games. I spend most of the games in the elevator directing people to their seats and making sure people get where they need to go. It's exciting and obviously demands highly of my intelligence. Let's just say I need the money.

Speaking of intelligence, guess who has very little of it: Fenway Park spectators. Say you press the down button and an elevator full of people shows up. The elevator operator asks "Going up?" You answer his question with another question: "Down?". He further carries this delicate coversation with a self-affirming "We're going up." -- pointing with his finger to the sky to eliminate any doubt as to the direction of this elevator car. As the door begins to close, you end the conversation with a whiny "Well I (we) want to go down!" Somewhere along the line knowledge and expectations of elevator operation went out the window, along with the intelligence of Fenway Park spectators.

More to the point, since obesity is fast becoming one of the biggest epidemics this country has seen, people should just walk down or up.

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