Oscars, Meh

I usually am excited for the Oscars, but lately I've viewed most industry awards (especially those out of Hollywood) with disdain. How can I not look at them and see a bunch of moneysucking industry whores patting themselves on the back for another mediocre job well done? Most of what Hollywood produces is garbage and I'm supposed to want to watch a show that allows Hollywood to congraluate itself for the cream of this crap crop?

Industry awards ceremonies are simply masturbation.

  • Jon Stewart -- most of you who read this blog know how I feel about Jon Stewart. For him to host "Hollywood's Biggest Night"... well, it wasn't so bad. Stewart was servicable as a host. I'd give him a solid B -- among recent hosts, I'd rank him a distant third to #2 Steve Martin and #1 Billy Crystal, and closely followed by #4's Chris Rock and David Letterman, and way ahead of #6 Whoopi Golderg. Still, the Academy could have done much better in its choice of host. The other hosts I listed all had one thing in common -- they are entertainers. Jon Stewart is not an entertainer. He was a pundit thrown into an entertainer's role, and it showed last night.
  • Montages -- good God, get over yourself. How about shooting for a show that doesn't run nearly an extra half hour?
  • "No better experience..." -- The president of the Academy came on and told us, the viewer, that movies are about telling stories, and there is nothing greater than being in a darkened theater, with a bunch of strangers - everyone wanting to experience a story. Yes. I love being in a darkened theater with a bunch of strangers who talk on their cellphones, talk to each other, talk to the screen, make every possible noise they can with their food wrapping. I love driving several miles and paying $10 a pop for this experience. If you love movies and don't already subscribe to Netflix, here you go. Fuck Hollywood and fuck it's "experience". Stop putting out a shitty product and start to force theaters to meet higher standards.
  • RIP -- I do enjoy the montage that covers who died this past year. I miss Mr. Miyagi even more. But to not have Don Knotts is unforgiveable. He was in several live-action Disney films. Yes, he made more of a name for himself on television, but to not honor his memory is to write off a good portion of his career. The same goes for Darren McGavin. Read my RIP post for more info on these two legends.
  • None.


Blogger Coolhand complained...

For me it goes:

1) Billy Crystal (for sheer length of service.

2) Chris Rock - for being a FUNNY, and shaking things up.

2b) Conan at the Emmy's - just because he was so funny that he warrants mention in a completely unrelated field.

3) Steve Martin - meh, I have nothing against him.

4) Whoopi Goldberg - see #2, but more mild

5) John Stewart - I think he has good "guy who directs traffic" type of comedy sense. Not an acerbic wit, type of sense.

then again, if it doesn't seem like i know what i'm talking about, it's because i rarely ever watch more than 10 minutes of oscars. the exception being Chris Rock's time, since I respect him as a stand-up comedian.

3/07/2006 2:52 PM
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Anonymous Mr. Showbiz,com complained...

Knotts didn't make the cutoff date. He will be included in next year's montage.

3/13/2006 9:21 PM
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